David Brooks has, in no particular order, left his wife of 27 years, married a woman 23 years his junior—his “research” assistant; who could see that coming?—and found Christ. He’s written a book on the latter, The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life, which apparently involves, well, dumping your old wife and finding a hot, young new one. Because old broads, you know, they bring you down! Always reminding you that you’re old too! And who wants to hear that? No one, that’s who!
Yeah, it doesn’t sound all that moral to me, either, yet Mark Epstein manages to keep a straight face in his review for the New York Times, where Brooks, of course, has been holding forth for some decades—or maybe it’s centuries—it certainly feels that way!—on an endless series of “big picture” topics, all served up in Dave’s ubiquitous orotund and otiose prose, which makes every column sound exactly the same, no matter what the subject.
Well, if I could stop telling you how much I don’t like Dave I could tell you how much I don’t like Mark’s review, which does save me the bother of reading, not to say buying, Dave’s book, which I would never fucking do. Anyway, what is funny about Mark’s review is that he includes the messy details of Dave’s personal life, yet somehow Dave’s the hero here! See, he confesses that he’s been a bad husband, which apparently allows you to walk out on your wife and kids, who, you know, just want to spend your money and give you sass, and you can’t even hit them, because they can beat you up now, which is just that whole old thing again.
There’s stuff about “society” and walking in mountains and finding Jesus. which I didn’t read too closely—pretty much Dave being Dave—and a little of that goes a long, long way. So don’t buy the book, and don’t listen to Dave. You’ll be glad you didn’t.
Afterwords
Dave’s new wife (unnamed, of course) is, apparently, not a homewrecker, because she left Dave’s employment, but he chased her down and persuaded her to marry him. So I guess she’s not the bad one.
