Yeah, it’s summertime, all right, and the living is easy, but Anne Applebaum wants to rain all over your parade. It’s August, after all, and you know what happened in August! World War I! Forget the sunblock, dude, and strap on a gas mask!
In her latest, greatest effusion, billed as “Beach Worrying” at Slate, Anne lists four places where the shit is just about to hit the fan. Iran! Russia/Georgia! Afghanistan! Iraq! Get off your beach towel and tremble!
Well, if you read Anne’s stuff on even a semi-regular basis, you know what the old girl is up to. She’s desperately, desperately trying to convince us that life isn’t easy, that we’re right back where we used to be during the Cold War, with Armageddon just a button click away.
The problem is, it just isn’t true. Being a small country next to Russia is not a fun place to be, but Russia today is less of a major power than it was in the days of Catherine the Great. Russia is stunted and shriveled, and, after centuries of trying to catch up with the West, further behind than ever. In fact, the Russians are decades behind South Korea! Ever buy a Russian car, Anne? A Russian computer? A Russian flat-screen TV? You’re laughing, aren’t you? And you know why!
As for the Middle East, well, it’s going to be more than ugly for more than decades to come, and Muslim fundamentalism will demand serious attention and serious effort at least as far as 2050, when neither Anne nor I will be around to check up on things. But the Muslim right isn’t decades behind us, they’re centuries in the dust, and looking backwards.
So why does Anne write all this jive? Because she’s somehow convinced herself that it was the Cold War that kept us firm, kept as strong, and without it we’ll turn into gluttonous couch potatoes, bloated with double cheese pizza and repeat episodes of American Idol. And so she’s become a liar, a liar for truth, if you will.
Some time ago, Anne wrote a great book, Gulag: A History From great historian to principled liar, it’s not a pretty trip. I’m sorry, Anne, but it’s not polite to lie to your readers. In fact, it’s awfully rude.
