Tag: cartoons

Legal humor here.    “Because Mommy likes to win.”   “Fuck yeah it’s CPSC-approved!”   “Oh, Hell yes! It’s as age-appropriate as a mother fucker!”   “Because Baby likes to feel the Burnie, that’s why.”   “At our house we believe in manual transmissions. Manual transmissions and a whole lot of other things.”   “I’m a…

Legal humor here. “Thrust and parry! Thrust and parry! Hey, big guy, we’ll make a soldier out of you yet!”   “’Smatter, boy! Can’t handle a lefty?”   “Oops! Too much ice tea put out your fire? Whoever left all those potato chips lying around sure didn’t do you a favor!”   “Oh, sure! Fire’s…

Legal humor here. “I don’t get it. You loved Curious George as a kid.”   “Okay, suppose we cut banana breakfasts back to three days a week. Does that sound like a good idea?”   “Because Bob and Betty’s Magic Monkey Menagerie is going to explode all over the Internet, that’s why.”   “Think of…

Legal humor here. “Then we’ll be two for dinner?”   “If it’s all the same to you, sir, I’d prefer not to be called Igor from here on out.”   “I’ll notify the Times.”   “The lads in the village are very keen on a striker.”   “I am sorry to interrupt, sir, but the…

Legal humor here.   “You say you feel you’ve been used. That must hurt.”   “Okay, as a banana maybe you don’t have anything more to contribute. But as a banana skin, I mean, it seems like there’s a whole new realm of possibilities.”   “When you put it that way, he does sound like…

Legal humor here. “Size matters to me. Perhaps you have similar tastes.”   “I am, obviously, not one for half-way measures.”   “I don’t like to come in second in anything.”   “I can’t say I won’t break your heart, but I will keep you dry.”   “It never rains on this parade.”   “Stormy…

Legal humor here.    “Grackles taste like shit, that’s why.”   “That’s taking lazy to a new level.”   “He’s got balls. You just can’t see them.”   “It’s a mating ritual for morons, that’s what it is.”   “Birds who play games with featherless bipeds end up featherless too.”   “If old Furface could see…

Legal humor here.   “I know you’d kill on the stand. That’s what I’m afraid of.”   “Yeah, but I don’t think they’d want to know your ‘real name’.”   “Now, remember: The jury wants to like you. You just have to let that happen.”   “One more thing: Ixnay on the ghoulish laughter. A quiet…

Legal humor here.   “My horoscope says watch out for falling cinderblocks. Why?”   “Siri says ‘Cloudy today with chance of falling cinderblocks.’ That’s cute.”   “We just have to show the building trades who’s boss in this town, that’s all. I mean, De Blasio ain’t LaGuardia, you know what I’m saying?”   “The unions just…

Legal humor here.    “Okay, when I say ‘Jump!’ you jump! It’s not that hard!”   “I miss the C train. It had brakes.”   “Sure we pay a price, but the tracks belong to the people, damn it! The tracks belong to the people!”   “If we had a TV, that would be nice. I…