Tag: cartoons

Legal humor here. “I know it’s not pretty, but it’s real!” “Oh, come on! That could be us in twenty years!” “Gentrification breeds blowback, honey. It’s the price of urban homesteading.” “It’s for their grandkids, for Christ’s sake! It’s not like they’re going out to buy crack!” “I can’t help it. I’m a sucker for…

Legal humor here. “I wasn’t funny. Why did they throw you overboard?” “Submissive? Oh, hell yes. I wrote the book on submissive.” “I guess we’ll have to make our own entertainment.” “What am I like? Well, ‘funny and non-judgmental’ pretty much sums it up.” “You really make that palm tree work.” “Have I been a…

Legal humor here. “No, I know I don’t get paid to whisper in your ear ‘Thou too art mortal’ and I’m deeply sorry if I said anything to suggest that I believed that I did.” “Well, if you aren’t sitting on Madge’s get-well card, who is?” “No, JB, a display case containing the skulls of…

Legal humor here. “Fuck it. I’m outa here. I did my job.” “It’ll fall when it’s ready to fall. There’s no sense in forcing these things.” “What’s its problem? How should I know? I just chew ‘em, I don’t explain ‘em.” “Damn birches are slower than AOL. I’m going for a swim.” “You wait for…

Legal humor here. “I told you that Kent guy was trouble!” “Relax! He’ll never make it to Jersey in this weather!” “Uh-oh! Big Chris ain’t gonna like this one bit!” “See, asshole! It was a granny knot!” “Don’t sweat it! A da Vinci he isn’t!” “‘Maybe we should have shot him,’ Louie? Maybe?” “A lot…

Legal humor here. “Okay, Helen, no more Scotch for breakfast. I think I’ve achieved déjà-vu à voo-doo.” “Where’s the damn botox, bitch? And don’t make me ask twice.” “I don’t know why, but somehow I’m in a Thirteenth Amendment state of mind.” “Call Al Roker and tell him he’s free. I mean, free to stop…

Legal humor here. “The play-offs? Goddamn it! That means no ice-skating for like forever!” “I don’t get enough of this crap at home?” “I’m pissed because I’m paying ninety bucks an hour to be subjected to philistine patriarchal bullshit, that’s why I’m pissed!” “I thought we said this week would be a Girls marathon!” “Group…

Legal humor here. “My ‘Morning Lotus’ kinda sucks, huh? Well, your ‘Morning Lotus’ really sucks!” “Yeah, dickhead! That was my mat!” “Listen, dude, if you don’t want guys looking at your ass, stop wearing those tight little shorts! Capiche?” “My feet smell like the motherfucking Hulk’s because I am the motherfucking Hulk, wise ass! Got…

Legal humor here. “Sure, we can wait until after dinner. But it will have to be a really nice dinner.” “Relax. The SEC doesn’t know this place exists.” “You’re so handsome you’re shy? Hey, we’re still drinking tap water here, you know.” “It’s just that, well, when we get to my place, you’d better look…