Tag: cartoons

Legal humor here. “Apparently, it’s only the drier that’s solar powered.” “We have two options: either a very long hose or a combustion unit linked to tanks of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen. So I guess traveling light wasn’t such a good idea.” “Well, I can pretend to read this manual as long as you…

Legal humor here. “The fixtures in this place have a mind of their own.” “Apparently, there’s a five-minute time limit on everything.” “As a matter of fact, this is the last of the hot water. And I’m damned well going to keep it, too!” “If it has feet, stay away!” “Lady, you can get my…

Legal humor here. “Laugh your ass off. When I get audited, I’ll get to keep the shell.” “Because I’m a happening terrapin, that’s why.” “I’ll go goddamn digital when I’m goddamn good and ready.” “Shells are strong, but knowledge is stronger.” “Because memory is the mother of all wisdom, mon frére.” “Because I’m 125 and…

Legal humor here. “Just act natural. But remember, they’re extremely turf conscious.” “They love a bargain, and they love their oolong.” “It turns out they are social animals. There were just no coffee shops on the veldt.” “Ix-nay on the ippo-hay jokes, s’il vous plaît.” “Come January, this place will be nothing but elephants.” “It…

Legal humor here. “I think this whole ‘my clerk can beat your clerk’ thing has gotten way out of hand.” “At this point, I would rather listen to Scalia sing show tunes.” “Roberts just doesn’t know how to throw a party.” “I don’t care what they come up with. Ping-pong is not a learned profession.”…

Legal humor here. “Now we call this little sweetheart ‘Old Kill or Cure’. And you’ll never guess why.” “Feeling listless and anemic, huh? Well, that’s about to change.” “What the FDA don’t know won’t hurt ya, ya know what I mean?” “Okay, get a grip on your jock. This one’s going to sting a little…

Legal humor here. “I know it eats remotes. But it eats other things too.” “I think our possessions are starting to possess us. Especially this one.” “I know we got it for the rats. But now I’m starting to miss them.” “Yeah, it’s cheaper than ball and claw. But it’s creepier too.” “Buying a love…

Legal humor here. “Fucking de Blasio? Fucking Chris Christie, I think you mean! “I didn’t cut you off, fuckhead! You cut me off! And now look!” “Just take it back to Jersey where it belongs!” “What’s your beef? The Tri-Boro is always hell at this time of day!” “It’s not the goddamn DDT! It’s the…

Legal humor here. “I’m listening to Ella—Harold Arlen, “Hooray for Love”—and this little fucker flies in the window and goes apeshit on my ass.” “He says it will make me a humanitarian, but it’s totally not working. At this point, I hate everyone.” “The chick next door hired him and she weighs like two hundred…

Legal humor here. “Now, this one is for the big boys.” “And with this little mother you can change channels on the moon.” “At Big Boy, we take your television as seriously as you do.” “You’ll never lose this fucker. Am I right, or am I right?” “Sure your wife will hate it. But that’s…