Legal humor here. “You’ll be riding shotgun.” “You have a choice of Wilber or Orville.” “I’m afraid we won’t be able to take you all the way to Chicago today, Mr. Prescott. But we can take you 120 feet closer than you are now, guaranteed.” “Beverage service will be limited. And, frankly, so will everything…
Tag: cartoons
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I know I’m a pretty bird! Just leave it alone! For God’ssake!” “We’re going to win and I’m going to tell you why. Because advertising is all about repetition and repetition is what we parrots do best. Just be yourselves and we can’t lose.” “Bob, stop talking like a mynah bird. I’m right…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Kids, I thought we were going to do it half an hour on the table and half an hour off. Because you’ve been up there for more than forty-five minutes.” “So we’re agreed? Demitasses all around?” “Hey, a suit that fits. I could write a book on that one. Do tailors think…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I tell you, Bob, this kid is the greatest stone face since Buster Keaton!” “Your references are Ramesses II and Thutmose III? Quite the little name-dropper, aren’t we?” “‘What walks on four legs, then two, then three?’ I’ve got a better question for you: How the hell did you get in here?”…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I’ll tell you why singing ‘Row, row, row your boat’ with irony doesn’t cut it. Because this galley is an irony-free zone. Capisce?” “Well, we’re all friends of the captain, in a manner of speaking. But that’s not a good thing.” “No, this isn’t why you went to Wharton. It’s why we…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Well, I lied, okay? The sound of your voice doesn’t make me wet. I was trying to be polite and it came out very, very wrong.” “Bryan’s ‘Cross of Gold’ and Burke’s ‘Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents’, those are my choices?” “My saying ‘everything’s better between the sheets’ was…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Lemme put this way, kid: diehard Freudians die hard. Just keep your head down and keep talking.” “Don’t worry, kid. If they nick you, the session’s on me.” “Okay, so how does this make you feel?” “So what did your boyfriend say when you told him your analyst told you you were…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “It don’t look like Heaven cause it ain’t. It’s Purgatory. Keep your nose clean, stay in line, and you’ll do just fine.” “Hey, don’t blame me. I didn’t vote for de Blasio.” “‘So high you can’t get over it’ ain’t just the title of a song.” “No jumpers in New York, no…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I’m sure that Mr. Hutchinson will come down from the wall when he feels it is safe to come down from the wall.” “You shouldn’t take this personally, Mrs. Hutchinson. Many men have an affinity for the perpendicular.” “No, I don’t think your husband is fighting the process. I think he’s engaging…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I’ll count if I want to, goddamn it. It’s not like they can see my lips.” “Now, don’t be a pushover. Remember, you’re proud, tempestuous. You have to be won.” “I told you Springsteen wouldn’t work in a venue like this. We need something bold and brassy. And repetitive.” “Hey, tight pants!…