“‘School’? I’d say you need some schooling. This is a flock!” “Sorry, dude. The first Robin of Spring tops the first Mackerel of Spring any day.” “It doesn’t matter if it’s ‘Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly’ or the other way round. One of us is doing it wrong.” “Okay, you’re a perch. I get…
Tag: cartoons
Pseudo New Yorker
“I’m sure it’s great. I mean, who wouldn’t want a cave bear as a landlord?” “Plus, they’re windy as hell.” “It’s great if you like looking at rock all day.” “You own the hole. The cave owns you. That’s the difference.” “Sure they’re cozy. Just you and a million bats.” “So what is he supposed…
Pseudo New Yorker
“If I eat this I can have dessert? Isn’t apple pie dessert? “Well, I’ll tell you something, babe. I’d like a slice of your apple pie, sure. But I’d love a slice of your cherry pie, you know what I’m sayin’? “I probably should ask God about this, but whenever I do he’s all ‘That’s…
Pseudo New Yorker
“It’s fake? No, no one could be that cruel.” “To tell you the truth, there isn’t a lot of ‘mouth feel’ to this one.” “I know it’s not real. We’ve been through this. I just like to bite shit.” “What happened to the new spring outfit that was on this thing is that I ate…
Pseudo New Yorker
“Okay, babe! Last man on earth, looking right at you!” “Hell, yeah, I’m satisfied. Are you satisfied?” “Some day, Helen, you’re going to go too far with this telekinesis thing.” “So I suppose Mother won’t be coming for a visit after all.” “All this fuss over a little blonde. Really, Helen, you surprise me.” “Must…
Pseudo New Yorker
“This is a public desert, pal! You hot rodders make me sick!” “Do I look like I’ve seen a white whale?” “I do see the absurdity of it all. But I fail to see the humor in that absurdity.” “Trust me. It’s much harder.” “Okay, I know when I’ve been hustled. You can have your…
Pseudo New Yorker
“Relax! He’s more afraid of us than we are of him.” “Yo, big boy! Super models comin’ through!” “He’s good bad, but he’s not evil.” “Excuse me! Are you Scylla or Charybdis?” “We must be near Coney Island.” “If this is America, what’s with the Roman hands and Russian fingers?” “Okay, an Abe Lincoln he…
Pseudo New Yorker
“We will be making every effort to avoid further cutbacks in the future, but, sadly, nothing is certain in this life.” “Clearly, the fallout from the Christmas Party continues to reverberate.” “Furthermore, employees will be expected to provide their own beverages and pretzels.” “And then there was one, eh, Mrs. Hanson? But not to worry….
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Frankly, Ms. Hobson, I like your style.” “You’ll find us rough, Sarah, but you’ll find us ready.” “And I’ll expect you to keep your office spanking clean.” “Good! I like an employee who wants my job!” “It’s not really a dress code—more of a dress understanding.” “And the objective of this little…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Yeah, some chicks can make an event out of anything.” “I don’t think we’re suckers to follow her so we can look up skirt. I think we’re suckers to follow her so we can look up skirt when we know she’s going the wrong way.” “In another mile I’m going to ask…