Legal humor here “Frankly, today’s umpire—and I very much consider myself an umpire of today—finds that calling balls and strikes is the least of his responsibilities. Our real function is to keep baseball vibrant and au courant by reinterpreting its traditions in light of contemporary trends—the zeitgeist of the horsehide, one might say.” “Okay, that…
Tag: cartoon
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “The rain does fall on the just and the unjust alike. For the immaculately coifed, things are a little different.” “Hey, hey, Mr. Skeptical Environmentalist! Wet enough for you?” “Okay, ‘It always rains on the unloved’ is a saying. You know who said it? Charlie Brown. Do you want your psyche to…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “No, your master should not have left ten pounds of lasagna just sitting there, and, yes, it is your job to teach him a lesson. But perhaps you should have learned a lesson as well.” “Obviously, cat nip was the wrong way to go.” “I’m sorry, Jeffy, but the science is rock…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Brian Johnson don’t do meta ’cause Brian Johnson don’t do meta, that’s why.” “I’m just sayin’. If he tries to give me a moustache again, there’ll be trouble.” “No, Helen, I can’t read the writing on the wall. You’re going to have to tell me yourself.” “Would I like a better schnoz?…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Fill out the damn proxy, Harkins, or I’m buying the damn cave!” “That’s a chicken, right? Because it sure looks like a dog.” “I hope that isn’t your idea of a mortgage payment, Mr. Jenkins, because if it is it won’t be accepted.” “Knock off the martyr routine, dad. Since you were…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Young Smedley here is shorting the dollar and everything else.” “He likes to call himself Bartleby the Gardener. Apparently that’s a thing these days.” “We take our hericots verts very seriously around here, Thomas. Very seriously indeed.” “We all eat at our desks. Smedley prefers to grow there as well.” “Smedley here…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “See, I’ve got this movie playing in my head, in my head. I’ve got this movie playing in my head, in my head. And this little doohickey is recording it.” “Okay, now, when I yell ‘Action!’, you take off all your clothes, and then, you know, we’ll just go from there.” “I’m…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Just white bread folks, huh? I don’t think so.” “A striking case of technological convergence, yes. But somehow it’s still scaring the shit out of me.” “Damn! You never know what’s going to come out of those things!” “Are they bringing us toast or taking our butter? That’s the question.” “Must be…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Just say ‘Who was your father, Leatherface?’ Trust me, it’ll kill.” “Just say that you only support juggling that doesn’t destroy the environment.” “Ask him where he’ll be when all the kids with one hand start showing up at the emergency room.” “Just say that you’re going to use your chainsaw on…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Okay! Now, these babies like a lot of line!” “Well, no, the ‘seven-hole theory’ isn’t invariably optimal.” “We need a bigger hole? What the fuck does that mean?” “Throwing in our rods and getting the fuck out of here sounds like a great idea!” “A ‘vicious circle’? I like that. Or maybe…