Tag: cartoon

“I don’t mean to rush you, but the C Train will be here in two minutes.” “Why I don’t I just start you off with a couple of bowls of our Port Authority vichyssoise? And maybe some sardines?” “As a matter of fact, I have heard all the jokes—thank you for asking. But I love…

Legal humor here “I can’t say I’m surprised, Smedley. I’ve always said that constrictors were good starters but bad finishers.” “Well, see if Accounting has use for someone who takes three weeks to process a termination.” “Old Harrellson called your bluff, eh, Smedley? Even a healthy anaconda can’t handle anything over two hundred and fifty…

Legal humor here “Call me Ishmael, motherfucker!” “First dibs, my ass! This is my ocean, short stuff!” “I’m holding you personally responsible for global warming, beachboy!” “I just hope you didn’t eat all the cocoanuts.” “Don’t sweat it. The tide comes in real quick in these latitudes.” “If you didn’t keep building these damn things,…

Legal humor here “Yes, dear. I know Seth Curry couldn’t carry your jock. Now give it a rest.” “Of course he looks like a midget. Compared to you, everyone is a midget.” “No, I don’t think the first network honcho who programs ‘Giraffe Week’ will be sitting on a gold mine.” “Face it, honey. Knobby…

Legal humor here “O Gracious King, yada, yada, yada, please accept this humble gift, yada, yada, yada, we your loyal peasantry, yada, yada, yada, may your reign be blessed, yada, yada, yada, man, there’s a ton of this stuff, as we recall the many treasures of your bounty, yada, yada, yada, it doesn’t stop, does…

Legal humor here “The only climbing walls I’m interested in are the climbing walls of the mind.” “Even a lack of obstacles is no obstacle to the truly motivated.” “Just think of it as an exercise in self-overcoming.” “I see things other men can’t, Harold. I see things other men can’t.” “It’s my own personal…

Legal humor here “You’ll get a level playing field when you’ve earned a level playing field.” “Like so many things, like, indeed, life itself, this office is unfair.” “This is nothing. When I started, it was a 57° slant.” “Perhaps it’s stating the obvious, but if you can make it here, you can make it…

Legal humor here “You’re in luck! We’ve been looking for a white boy!” “Congratulations! It’s ‘Zeke Week’!” And if you play bridge and pinochle, well, you can practically write your own ticket.” “Let’s get you out of those bib overalls and into a dry martini.” “I know you have a million questions. Fortunately, we have…

Legal humor here. “Oh, yeah, it’s a veritable hula hoop of holiness. Definitely.” “What can I say? The Big Guy likes me.” “Yeah, I was heading down 66, maybe 3 o’clock in the morning, and I see this guy with his thumb out, so I say ‘what the hey’, right? So I pull over and…

Legal humor here.    “Because Mommy likes to win.”   “Fuck yeah it’s CPSC-approved!”   “Oh, Hell yes! It’s as age-appropriate as a mother fucker!”   “Because Baby likes to feel the Burnie, that’s why.”   “At our house we believe in manual transmissions. Manual transmissions and a whole lot of other things.”   “I’m a…