Legal humor here. “Okay, we all remember this one, don’t we? The First National heist. Sure, we’d like to forget it, but let’s ask ourselves, what did I do then that I wouldn’t do now?” “I think the fact that profits have only declined by 40 percent since out incarceration augers well for renewed growth,…
Tag: cartoon
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Au contraire, mademoiselle. ‘Tubby the Tuba’ is not a cliché. It is a gift of the gods.” “Let me just warn you ahead of time. I intend to get all Katy Perry on your ass with this one.” “I love castanets. I just don’t work with castanets.” “Why not ‘Feelings’? Because it’s…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “What am I doing out here? Listen, Bob, don’t get all Henry David Thoreau on me, or I’ll get all Ralph Waldo Emerson on you.” “What am I doing out here? Making ten grand a pop, just for showing up, telling a few dumb jokes and roaring my ass off. Learn the…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Yes, I am a talking fish. What’s more, I’m a talking fish who wants to keep on talking for quite a few years.” “Sushi, huh? Well, suppose I sushi your ass? How does that sound, Mr. Gourmet?” “I have a cousin who’s a piranha. I could give him a call. Things could…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “You’re damn right I meant ‘that kind of foursome’!” “Those clubs better be sterile, girlfriend.” “No, sweetheart. Gallbladder first, then the fairway.” “Ferguson, do you enjoy being the face of American medicine?” “Yes, we damn well mind if you play through! Some of us don’t push botox for a living!” “I don’t…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Your master is going to keep on feeding you cookies as long as you keep eating them. They’re programmed that way.” “I know you miss chasing cats. But in dog years you’re a hundred and ten, and that puts a limit on a lot of things.” “Lyndon Johnson said that the only…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I hope you’ll agree with me that this needs to be resolved to Mr. Roberts’ satisfaction as soon as possible.” “Now, a Halloween’s Day Parade may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you can’t deny that this will get us way ahead of Macy’s in the public eye.” “On the plus…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I won’t lie to you, Mr. Thorten. This was not the reaction I was expecting.” “As a matter of fact, Mr. Thorten, it does have something to do with that Obamacare you’ve been hearing so much about.” “Nothing here that a hundred pennies in each pocket won’t cure. No one will be…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Damn straight it’s the shoes, white boy. And put some clothes on. This ain’t exactly Fire Island.” “I’ll change that for you when we get to the top if you say please.” “You need to get a bigger rock if you want to get in shape for two. When’s the blessed event?”…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Natural selection can kiss my ass. I’ve always been a giraffe man, and I always will be.” “It’s all my fault. The water was rising so damn fast, and the caulking just seemed to take forever. By the time we were shipshape, these babies were the only ones still breathing.” “If God has…