Legal humor here. “He said ‘Tell them that the last time you saw me, I was singing ‘Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds’.’ He appeared to find that quite amusing.” “I’m sorry, but every time you call, he just says ‘SHAZAM’ and takes off.” “You were right, Madge. They did give him a key to…
Tag: cartoon
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Let’s just say that I’m a killer, but I only kill upon request.” “I admit to a few youthful indiscretions, but nothing that would raise a—okay, I can see I’m getting off on the wrong foot here.” “Yeah, it’s true. I used to slay the bulls. But now I’m ready to slay…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Well, the first thing—the very first thing—you have to remember is that you aren’t Superman. I’ve mentioned this before, but obviously it isn’t sinking in.” “A ‘righty,’ huh? What other tricks have you got up your sleeve?” “Well, Clark, you’re as sound as a dollar, or my name isn’t Lex Luthor. Just…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Don’t sweat it. He has the shtick, but we have the stick.” “No, it’s Jerry Steinbrenner. A lot of people make that mistake.” “His fast ball isn’t much, but his knuckler is a bear.” “Make him cover first. He’s way slow off the rubber.” “The thing you have to know about this…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Your Harry is a real brother-in-law’s brother-in-law, Dolores. How much is it going to cost me to get rid of this thing?” “Well, they’re back. That ‘Farewell to Fungus’ crap didn’t do a damn bit of good.” “Damn kids! Where’s the rest of him? I paid good money for that!” “What part…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Nuh-uh, girl friend. Daddy does the smiting around here.” “Hey, big shot! Only once a month, and only at trees!” “Stop aiming them at your ex-wives!” “Looks like someone’s going to be repeating ‘What Would Jesus Do 101’ real soon!” “Trust me, lightning bolts aren’t going to stop the Street from shorting…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “You taught Achilles, huh? What did you teach him, how to eat oats?” “You don’t get it. It’s supposed to be paradoxical.” “I guess they didn’t tell you. We’ll be climbing over a razor blade. A very large razor blade.” “It’s called mollusk power, homeboy.” “Nymphs? Oh, Hell yes. I get a…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I’m guessing, a rough day on the Street. Am I right, sweet cheeks?” “You damn well better use the side window, baby cakes.” “Looks like someone’s little poker game got a little crazy.” “I ordered a stripper, not an accountant. Get the fuck out of here.” “Hmmmm. Someone else who’s decided that…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “It’s called a casting couch, big boy, and I don’t have to tell you what it’s for. Do I get the part, or do I get the part?” Dr. Kronsky abandoned his “standing therapy” with great reluctance. “Because you’re a lousy lay, that’s why.” “It’s kind of like a singing telegram except…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “He says a dame like me should be going places, and, frankly, Ogg, I’m beginning to think he’s right.” “Well, of course he’s from that new tribe across the river. Where did you think he was from?” “He says it’s time we started monetizing our assets.” “I’m not making a comparison. The…