If you can’t handle intense, one-of-a-kind humor, go here.
“Yes, we are having guests for dinner. But you won’t be dining with us.”
“You’re the ones who should be worried. I hear that, these days, they’re all gay.”
“If you won’t help me find Flossie, I know people who will. Cat people, just like me.”
“I told you not to send a check to that nasty Glenn Greenwald. Now you’re going to learn your lesson.”
“How should I know? Maybe they’re looking for that damn unicorn you’re always feeding my lilies to.”
“Well, if you hadn’t let Jerry piss on their tank treads, they probably wouldn’t be here.”
“Will you shut the fuck up? I’m so afraid Edward is going to bite Bella that I’m about to shit.”
“Are they Jewish? You know I’m tired of all your Jewish friends showing up at all hours of the day and night.”
“Well, you just stare right back at them! For God’s sake, do I have to do everything?”
“I told you! They always show up at noon, right on the dot, sing three choruses of ‘Old Black Joe’ and then disappear! It’s creepy!”
