Legal humor here
“Listen, bub, I’ve been goin’ to the moon for thirty years. You can take that space-time continuum crap and shove it up Uranus. Ha, ha! Get it?”
“So he says ‘Where have I seen you before?’ and I says ‘Oklahoma’ and he says ‘Where in Oklahoma?’ and I says ‘The third act’. Fucker walked right into it.”
“An out-of-towner, huh? Well, what will it be, Times Square or the Statue of Liberty?”
“Sorry, I don’t go to Jersey.”
“I gotta hand it to you, pal. This is a part of Brooklyn a tourist seldom sees.”
“Sure Throgs Neck was closer, but Bronx-Whitestone is quicker. Trust me on this one, will you?”
“Yeah, those Uber guys talk big, but put them in the Outer Boroughs and they can’t find their ass with both hands.”
“Because GPS is for sissies, that’s why. Believe me, Captain Kirk couldn’t get you there faster.”
“You know who was sittin’ last night where you’re sittin’ now? Kim Kardashian, that’s who. Yeah, savor the moment.”
“Now they’re saying that Pluto ain’t a planet. Hey, tell me something I don’t know. The bars close at midnight, for crissakes.”
