Legal humor here
“Listen up, people! They don’t call him ‘the Professor’ for nothing!”
“Welcome to Contemporary Football, gentlemen. Or, as I like to call it, ‘Psych 101’!”
“Bob, you’re obviously conflicted. Go short, or go long. And, as the song has it, don’t mess with Mr. In Between!”
“And, Frank, your anal obsession is your strongest weapon. But only if you focus it on the other team!”
“Doc here’s gonna help you release your inner sadist.”
“You’re overthinking, Jim—letting I dare not wait upon I would like the poor cat i’ th’ adage. So get out there and kill.”
“From now on ‘hike’ will be on the third prime number in any given progression.”
“He says to think of the football not as your father’s penis but as your mother’s breast. Unless you’re, you know, gay.”
“Apparently, 84 has a definite need to fail, so lean on that.”
“Jerry, you block like a little girl who’s afraid to get her dress dirty. So get a new frock or a new attitude!”
