Legal humor here.
“My horoscope says watch out for falling cinderblocks. Why?”
“Siri says ‘Cloudy today with chance of falling cinderblocks.’ That’s cute.”
“We just have to show the building trades who’s boss in this town, that’s all. I mean, De Blasio ain’t LaGuardia, you know what I’m saying?”
“The unions just don’t understand creative disruption. But they will.”
“Helen says I’ll get the summer home over my dead body. Nice mouth on the broad, right?”
“Well, at least Kelly’s back, right? I mean, can you imagine a week without Kelly? A month? A month? I mean, ‘Kill me now’, right? Seriously. Kill me now.”
“Yeah, she was a sweet kid but I had to end it. She says ‘Who do you think you are, Don Fucking Draper?’ And I says ‘In my quiet way, yeah.’ That was one sweet burn, girlfriend.”
“What kind of a Chinese restaurant hands out fortune cookies that say ‘Et in Arcadia Ego’?”
“What say we just blow the nine o’clock and let old man Henderson squirm, eh?”
“Well, I’d like to spend February in Bermuda too. I mean, reality bites.”
