Legal humor here.
“Size matters to me. Perhaps you have similar tastes.”
“I am, obviously, not one for half-way measures.”
“I don’t like to come in second in anything.”
“I can’t say I won’t break your heart, but I will keep you dry.”
“It never rains on this parade.”
“Stormy weather, where is thy sting, eh? Yeah, I get that a lot.”
“This umbrella has a long history. You know that song ‘Gimme Shelter’? Mick Jagger was one happy Stone when he saw old Gabriella coming down the pike, let me tell you.”
“Well, in a really high wind it can get a little Mary Poppins on your ass, and on your wrists. Fortunately, I play a lot of tennis.”
“Welcome to Seattle, sister. This is how the big boys roll when it rains.”
“The climate never changes under this baby.”
