Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“He’s pretty playful, so watch your ass.”

“LOVIN’ the Mojitos, Jerry. I mean, these are bitchin’!”

“He doesn’t look herbivorous.”

“So this is why you insisted on building an outdoor pool in Loch Ness.”

“Who did your caulking job, Jerry?”

“Yeah, I thought having a pool would be heaven, but after six months, it’s, you know, same-old, same-old.”

“He is an endangered species, Jerry, but, frankly, I’m starting to feel like one too.”

“If you feed ‘em, you can’t get rid of ‘em, so, you know, not even a peanut.”

“The males are bigger, of course.”

“Yesterday he tried to mate with the raft, but that was really unusual.”