Pseudo New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“Yes, I hope they wash their probe thingees too. I hadn’t thought of that issue before. Thank you for bringing it to my attention, particularly at this time.”

“Lose the high beams, you dumb schmuck! You’re right on top of me!”

“I’m sorry, but I’m sick of their hard-luck stories. Do they think I’m made of plutonium?”

“I don’t know why he keeps trying to pass me on the right. Maybe he’s English.”

“Some tractor beam! I’m doing thirty and I’m still in second!”

“X11 to Mother Ship! You’re totally blowing our cover!”

“Hang on, baby cakes! They don’t call it Dead Man’s Curve for nothing!”

“Yeah, leaving at five AM, you beat the traffic but you meet the weirdos. I gotta tell you, this guy is nothing but trouble.”

“Because I can talk my way out of anything, that’s why. Just watch. And wonder.”

“No, we won’t know if Don and Megan stay together. The upside is, we won’t care.”

“Yes, we should have left before midnight. But, obviously, we didn’t.”

“I don’t know if they have Republicans on other planets, but, frankly, I feel it would be too much to ask for. I can only hope I’m wrong.”