Legal humor here.
“Faster? Faster? Dude, you’re talking to a damn hobby horse.”
“I don’t want to wear a ribbon. The whole thing is too faggy already.”
“Don’t look at me, dude. Look at those stands. This isn’t working.”
“Where’s the fucking Humane Society? Where’s the fucking ASPCA? Where’s fucking PETA? Those assholes are all show and no go.”
“Yeah, you thought Mary Tyler Moore was going to show. You thought Mary Tyler Moore was going to show up to watch six faggy dudes run around in circles on hobby horses. Well, you were wrong.”
“Not so tight, dude. You run with your feet, not with your hands.”
“If this doesn’t impress her, you wouldn’t want to marry her in the first place. Am I right or am I right?”
“Don’t get so discouraged! You’re still young! Look, if synchronized swimming can be an Olympic sport, so can hobby horse racing. It’s all a matter of time.”
“I’m not saying hit him. I’m saying scare him. I don’t know about you, but I came here to win.”
“No, twice more around the track, and then we’ll cool off. You’re ready when I tell you you’re ready, and not before.”
