Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“We can fly. We just don’t like to.”

“I just want to make sure that you guys really migrate.”

“You guys know where you’re going, right?”

“I’m not really flying, per se. It’s more like advanced gliding.”

“Yeah? Well, maybe you shouldn’t have gotten in my pond.”

“Oh, I can hold formation. Just don’t ask me to quack.”

“Let me tell you something, girlfriend. The Turtle of the Twenty-First Century is a whole new breed.”

“Flying in formation is supposed to fool the hawks, huh? Well, what about the hunters? You know, shotguns?”

“We’re not going far, are we? Because my tail is starting to get really tired.”

“Do turtles migrate? What kind of asshole question is that? Fuck yeah we do.”