Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“Jennifer, I thought you were the one who wanted to give up hydro-carbons.”

“Well, if you don’t, you’re going to hurt their feelings.”

“The Romans were not just a bunch of money-grubbing imperialists. Anyway, the Pines will give us a 30% discount if we show up in this thing.”

“You can fertilize Mother Earth or you can rape Mother Earth. I’m just sayin’.”

“Do you want to ride with live horses or dead cow-hides? I mean, it’s your choice.”

“What do you mean I’m no Chuck Heston? OK, you’re no Liz Taylor!”

“Well, they’re both Lamborghinis. I mean, basically.”

“So Ben Hur really wasn’t your favorite movie, is that what you’re saying?”

“I was going to recite passages from the Aeneid, but I guess you’re not interested, are you, Jennifer? Bright, shiny objects distract you.”

“Well, I don’t have the hat for it, for one thing. Or the wallet.”