Pseudo New Yorker

Legal humor here. 

“We understand that you’re a man of mystery. We’d just prefer that you not be one in our bed.”

“Well, Bill, I’d take one in the gut for you too. You know that.”

“Neither of us has any idea concerning what happened to Doc Knows in the Fifth at Santa Anita. Now, if there isn’t anything else, will you please leave?”

“Raymond Chandler was one of my favorite writers as well. In fact, he probably was my absolute favorite. Thanks for stopping by. Beth and I so look forward to our little literary chats.”

“If we do see any blondes with dangerous curves and lying eyes, you’ll be the first to know.”

“I’m sorry, but when I said I wanted to get in bed with the mob, I was expecting a little more excitement.”

“Lots of kids your age do try out different personalities on their way to adulthood, Jerry. We just wish you’d do it somewhere else.”

“If you were intending to take a walk on the wild side, I’m afraid you’ve gotten dreadfully lost.”

“Now, we want this place to be vibrant. We’ve done the suburban thing. So take your time and don’t be afraid to be bold.”

“You can stay here until the whole thing blows over as long as the whole thing blows over in the next twenty minutes.”