“Your master is going to keep on feeding you cookies as long as you keep eating them. They’re programmed that way.”
“I know you miss chasing cats. But in dog years you’re a hundred and ten, and that puts a limit on a lot of things.”
“Lyndon Johnson said that the only three things that make life worth living are sex, whiskey, and sunshine. Given your condition, we’re going to go with the sunshine.”
“All right, I’m renewing your prescription for dog yummies. But, remember, what begins as a diversion often becomes a crutch.”
“Frankly, I think you need to let your master have the remote. It’s difficult to let go, I know, but that really seems to be the problem between you two.”
“Coming down from Ecstasy is never easy, but I think this twelve-step program is going to make it a whole lot more doable.”
“We have a saying in the profession: don’t eat your problems. And that includes sweater vests you wouldn’t wear to a dog fight.”
“For a dog that just ate two dozen Twinkies, you’re in pretty good shape.”
“At your age, you need to limit your senseless barking to no more than three hours a day, preferably less.”
“Of course your master feels threatened. Opening the can was his job.”
