Legal humor here.
“Talk about lying down on the job! Just kidding. But, seriously, Smedley, this is not a standard death benefit.”
“I told him to get a life, but, obviously, he never listened.”
“Remind me never to hire anyone named ‘Bartleby’. Man, I am on fire!”
“The kicker is his productivity has never been higher.”
“Now, this is our entire customer relations department. See how that works?”
“I just hate face-to-face dismissals. This gets the job done and I don’t have to listen to some lazy schmuck tell me about his damn wife and kids.”
“Mergers and Acquisitions has been a graveyard for many a career, Smedley. It will be your job to change that.”
“The quicklime should do the job in a couple of days. A good airing and we’re back in business.”
“This one told me he wanted my job. I’m telling you right now, Smedley, Henry Johnson doesn’t do cute.”
“His motto was ‘Et in Arcadia ego, Motherfucker,’ and look what it got him.”
