Legal humor here
“I have been described—not unjustly, I think—as inscrutable yet fair.”
“I know you have lots of questions, but first of all let me assure you that I am not a speciesist.”
“Let me begin by saying that I regard all of you as my garden.”
“I want to give everyone the chance to bloom.”
“Let me come right to the point—there’s going to be a lot of repotting around here over the next couple of months.”
“I’ll give you all the water and sunlight you need, but you’re going to have to earn your bonuses the hard way.”
“You won’t know what I’m thinking, but I will know what you’re thinking. It’s going to take some getting used to, but that’s the way it’s going to be.”
“Let a hundred flowers bloom? No, let a thousand flowers bloom.”
“We’re going to have a blast, because this plant likes to party.”
“And the Insecticide Division will be reporting directly to me.”
