Legal humor here. All cartoons here.
“Yeah, you should have seen it. All the king’s horses, all the king’s men. It was a real madhouse. But somehow yours truly made it out of there in one piece.”
“Okay, Mr. Crisp, it was an unresisted impulse, not an irresistible one. Is that enough moral responsibility for you?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what it is. The broads just can’t keep their hands off me.”
“You know what people say: ‘You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs.’ I laugh it off, but, deep down, it hurts.”
“I’m tired of apologizing, you know what I’m saying? I mean, I got cholesterol, okay? If you can’t handle it, that’s your problem.”
“I don’t kid myself. I’m the main event. I’m the show. And when you’re the show, you never let them see you sweat. And I don’t.”
“Face it, we need each other. Without me, you’re nothing. Without you, no one will know how great I am. Just don’t crowd me, that’s all. Eggs don’t like to be crowded.”
“So this chick says to me, ‘I’d really like to hatch you.’ And I tell her, ‘Oh, honey, you’re going to have to get in line.’ You should have seen the look on her face! Yeah, dames are all alike.”
“So I’m having a beer, maybe two, and this guy is like ‘Eggs don’t drink’ and I tell him ‘Sweetheart, this egg do.’”
“’The egg doesn’t fall far from the nest.’ Boy, I put the kibosh on that one, because this egg has been around the world, in more ways than one.”
