Legal humor here. All cartoons here. and here
“Hell, yeah, I said it! ‘Who pays the rent around here?’ I said it! And, all of a sudden, I’m the bad guy!”
“Like, I’m supposed to apologize for having opposable thumbs? Fuck that shit.”
“All I get these days is ‘check your privilege, check your privilege.’ Hey, check this: the can opener is on strike.”
“Yeah, I said it: ‘How would you like it if I tried to eat you? I said it, because in our house it’s something that needs to be said. A lot.”
“As far as I’m concerned, Fox News is not a subject for therapy. Fox News is therapy. But I guess some people can’t handle the truth.”
“You know what I’m saying? I’m saying, I’m a white guy who isn’t dead yet. That’s all I’m saying.”
“The way I look at it, if I’m faithful to one, I’m unfaithful to all the rest. I mean, I’m only human, okay? Every species has its own habits, and this boy was born to roam.”
“I shed less than anyone but Goldilocks, so why am I doing all the vacuuming?”
“And God forbid I should have a chick over. I’d get more privacy at Yankee Stadium.”
“Hell yes they gang up on me. I mean, I love Sinatra, but would it kill them to listen to Celine Dion once a week? But they won’t give me that. ‘Take a vote! Take a vote!’ That’s their answer to everything.”
