Legal humor here “Fill out the damn proxy, Harkins, or I’m buying the damn cave!” “That’s a chicken, right? Because it sure looks like a dog.” “I hope that isn’t your idea of a mortgage payment, Mr. Jenkins, because if it is it won’t be accepted.” “Knock off the martyr routine, dad. Since you were…
Search Results for: NEW YORKER
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Do you ever feel that you’ve taken this ‘What would Michael do?’ thing as far as you can take it?” “Well, is it helping you meet chicks? I mean, that’s the real question, isn’t it?” “Really? Well, I’m from the South, and in the South the dead do pay their bills.” “Okay,…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Young Smedley here is shorting the dollar and everything else.” “He likes to call himself Bartleby the Gardener. Apparently that’s a thing these days.” “We take our hericots verts very seriously around here, Thomas. Very seriously indeed.” “We all eat at our desks. Smedley prefers to grow there as well.” “Smedley here…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “See, I’ve got this movie playing in my head, in my head. I’ve got this movie playing in my head, in my head. And this little doohickey is recording it.” “Okay, now, when I yell ‘Action!’, you take off all your clothes, and then, you know, we’ll just go from there.” “I’m…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Just white bread folks, huh? I don’t think so.” “A striking case of technological convergence, yes. But somehow it’s still scaring the shit out of me.” “Damn! You never know what’s going to come out of those things!” “Are they bringing us toast or taking our butter? That’s the question.” “Must be…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Just say ‘Who was your father, Leatherface?’ Trust me, it’ll kill.” “Just say that you only support juggling that doesn’t destroy the environment.” “Ask him where he’ll be when all the kids with one hand start showing up at the emergency room.” “Just say that you’re going to use your chainsaw on…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Okay! Now, these babies like a lot of line!” “Well, no, the ‘seven-hole theory’ isn’t invariably optimal.” “We need a bigger hole? What the fuck does that mean?” “Throwing in our rods and getting the fuck out of here sounds like a great idea!” “A ‘vicious circle’? I like that. Or maybe…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “She burns methane ’stead a-burpin’ it, for one thing. Mother Nature thanks me, and you will too.” “Yeah, sure, manure is Nature’s way. But it ain’t my way. My way’s the highway, so excuse my exhaust.” “And another thing. She don’t draw no flies.” “You know that feller who said we don’t…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Trust me, white boy. Your life just got a whole lot more interesting.” “Drop your socks and grab your cock, sonny boy. Because you’re going places.” “Let’s see how Old Man Flu stands up to six quarts of whup-ass!” “Side effects? Well, how about ‘eternal life’!” “You’re familiar with the expression ‘no…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “I was wrong, Sylvia. You do have a death wish.” “I was just telling Harry we needed a window. Thanks to you the job’s half done!” “Sylvia, am I to consider this an expression of dissatisfaction with your ranking on this week’s tennis ladder or simply a boiling over of general ill…