Legal humor here “You know something, Frenchie, there’s something about you that just doesn’t jibe.” “Am I down a tenner or a tanner? You keep changing it on me.” “What would I like? I would like you to stop saying ‘I say’ every time I take a shot.” “Oh, yeah, I like oolong, but oolong…
Search Results for: NEW YORKER
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “So, then, after you turned her into a pillar of salt, how did you feel?” “Well, I mean, if you say that the miscasting of Fifty Shades of Grey is a sign of the Apocalypse, then it is a sign of the Apocalypse. Isn’t that how it works?” “I’m sure that shutting…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “So I says to him ‘The 405? What’s a 405?’ Poor fucker never knew what hit him.” “Take-offs are about 3 Gs. Landings are about 4 Gs. Yeah, that’ll muss your hair.” “Unless I can get a decent Margarita in ten minutes I’m half-way to pre-ignition.” “Because the Major Deegan was like…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Mr. Outside says he wants to give Mr. Inside a hug. And I say Mr. Inside better let him do it.” “I’m just sayin’, an empty suit is lookin’ pretty good to me right about now.” “In this town, Harry, appearance is reality. And, in your case, that can be a good…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Am I Bachelor No. 1? Honey, I think you’re going to make that Bachelor No. 1 in a million.” “Yes, as a matter of fact, this was your mother’s idea.” “I’ll be a sort of tour guide for the natural wonders you’re about to behold.” “I come with the room.” “Who am…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Okay. This one is way over my head.” “In these parts, stranger, we don’t settle no vendettas with no balloons.” “Stranger, if this is a gay thing, you picked the wrong town to get pretty.” “Stranger, Jed done asked you nice twice to let him hold your balloon. Jed don’t ask nice…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Frankly, today’s umpire—and I very much consider myself an umpire of today—finds that calling balls and strikes is the least of his responsibilities. Our real function is to keep baseball vibrant and au courant by reinterpreting its traditions in light of contemporary trends—the zeitgeist of the horsehide, one might say.” “Okay, that…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “The rain does fall on the just and the unjust alike. For the immaculately coifed, things are a little different.” “Hey, hey, Mr. Skeptical Environmentalist! Wet enough for you?” “Okay, ‘It always rains on the unloved’ is a saying. You know who said it? Charlie Brown. Do you want your psyche to…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “No, your master should not have left ten pounds of lasagna just sitting there, and, yes, it is your job to teach him a lesson. But perhaps you should have learned a lesson as well.” “Obviously, cat nip was the wrong way to go.” “I’m sorry, Jeffy, but the science is rock…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Brian Johnson don’t do meta ’cause Brian Johnson don’t do meta, that’s why.” “I’m just sayin’. If he tries to give me a moustache again, there’ll be trouble.” “No, Helen, I can’t read the writing on the wall. You’re going to have to tell me yourself.” “Would I like a better schnoz?…