Legal humor here. “You lower it slowly, slowly, until they expire in an agony of anticipation.” “This one is for venial sins.” “At this point I can’t figure out whether to market it as a form of punishment or a parlor game.” “And, for the Inquisition, we can just slip on the old…
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Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Okay, here’s the deal. One bowl of milk and then you hit the road.” “Wait a minute. You’re not Albert! And you’re not Cecil either!” “Well, look who’s back! Mr. “the sewers are better than this dump any day”! “You’ve come back but Fluffy hasn’t. Should I be worried?” …
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Okay, this is what is going to happen. The curare will wear off in a few hours, at which point you’re going to give me the fuck of my life, after which, you will leave. Capisce?” “Okay, kids. This is your new daddy.” “You can start with the bedroom….
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Reindeer power, motherfucker! Reindeer power!” “Wait’ll you see what we’ve got planned for the after party!” “You don’t understand. He likes pulling the sleigh! Get it? I mean, get it?” “It just came to me—“Jolly old St. Nick, move over, and let jolly young Rudolph take over! It was that easy!” “Animal…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “He died very happy.” Yep, that’s old C.J. Enigmatic to the end.” “He shorted Google.” “Well, the stonecutters loved him, even if no one else did.” “Inside it’s all hollow, hollow as the man himself.” “Halloween ’65. Harry and I did it right on top of…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Two thumbs up? Sailor, in this man’s Navy brevity is still a virtue.” “Sailors don’t smile. They salute.” “Where’s his damn gob hat, sailor? If you are one.” “Old Iron Butt thinks you’re not giving it the right snap.” “Losing the wink was definitely a step in the right…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “You know what they say—it always rains on the unloved! Particularly when they don’t kiss their wives goodbye in the morning!” “Somebody up there wants to kick your ass!” “Okay, I’m definitely getting you goggles for Christmas!” “Now will you get rid of that damn black cat?” “Wow! That can’t be good!”…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Damn it, Smithers! This ‘Sword of Justice’ business is wearing mighty thin!” “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything is ‘urgent’ with you!” “I don’t care if Harrison gave you frontsies! Wait in line!” “All right, girlfriend! You just brought a knife to a gunfight! And this little missy shoots to kill!” “Well, shiver me…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Soot may be dirty, but it’s real, you know what I’m saying? Solar power ain’t shit. Ain’t no solar power when the sun don’t shine. That’s what I’m saying.” “You know what gets me? Kids don’t read Tootle no more. That’s what gets me. Because that’s where it all started.” “Yeah I’d…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Because without proper maintenance you can kiss that extended warranty coverage goodbye, douchebag.” “Where I come from, your toaster says as much about you as your car, if not more.” “I’m the kind of guy who likes to see what he looks like in the morning.” “It is so clean I could…