Legal humor here “You’ll get a level playing field when you’ve earned a level playing field.” “Like so many things, like, indeed, life itself, this office is unfair.” “This is nothing. When I started, it was a 57° slant.” “Perhaps it’s stating the obvious, but if you can make it here, you can make it…
Search Results for: NEW YORKER
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “You’re in luck! We’ve been looking for a white boy!” “Congratulations! It’s ‘Zeke Week’!” And if you play bridge and pinochle, well, you can practically write your own ticket.” “Let’s get you out of those bib overalls and into a dry martini.” “I know you have a million questions. Fortunately, we have…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Oh, yeah, it’s a veritable hula hoop of holiness. Definitely.” “What can I say? The Big Guy likes me.” “Yeah, I was heading down 66, maybe 3 o’clock in the morning, and I see this guy with his thumb out, so I say ‘what the hey’, right? So I pull over and…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Because Mommy likes to win.” “Fuck yeah it’s CPSC-approved!” “Oh, Hell yes! It’s as age-appropriate as a mother fucker!” “Because Baby likes to feel the Burnie, that’s why.” “At our house we believe in manual transmissions. Manual transmissions and a whole lot of other things.” “I’m a…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Thrust and parry! Thrust and parry! Hey, big guy, we’ll make a soldier out of you yet!” “’Smatter, boy! Can’t handle a lefty?” “Oops! Too much ice tea put out your fire? Whoever left all those potato chips lying around sure didn’t do you a favor!” “Oh, sure! Fire’s…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “I don’t get it. You loved Curious George as a kid.” “Okay, suppose we cut banana breakfasts back to three days a week. Does that sound like a good idea?” “Because Bob and Betty’s Magic Monkey Menagerie is going to explode all over the Internet, that’s why.” “Think of…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Then we’ll be two for dinner?” “If it’s all the same to you, sir, I’d prefer not to be called Igor from here on out.” “I’ll notify the Times.” “The lads in the village are very keen on a striker.” “I am sorry to interrupt, sir, but the…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “You say you feel you’ve been used. That must hurt.” “Okay, as a banana maybe you don’t have anything more to contribute. But as a banana skin, I mean, it seems like there’s a whole new realm of possibilities.” “When you put it that way, he does sound like…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Size matters to me. Perhaps you have similar tastes.” “I am, obviously, not one for half-way measures.” “I don’t like to come in second in anything.” “I can’t say I won’t break your heart, but I will keep you dry.” “It never rains on this parade.” “Stormy…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “Grackles taste like shit, that’s why.” “That’s taking lazy to a new level.” “He’s got balls. You just can’t see them.” “It’s a mating ritual for morons, that’s what it is.” “Birds who play games with featherless bipeds end up featherless too.” “If old Furface could see…