Legal humor here “Okay. That’s way too Zen for my ass.” “Okay, I take it back, Bob. Godiva gorp isn’t for sissies.” “Okay! We’ll name it after you! Jesus!” “Real bodhisattvas welcome criticism.” “Impressive, sure. But it’s not really levitating.” “I said we could get in nine holes if we turned back now. And I’m…
Search Results for: NEW YORKER
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “It’s going to make us rich as sin, but I don’t know how.” “Of course, the real trick is figuring out how to make it roll uphill.” “We’ve already got a patent, so don’t get any ideas.” “Oh, I’ve stopped worrying about it. You know, ‘exceeding slow, exceeding fine.’ We’ll get there.”…
Pseudo New Yorker
“Well, if I had a drag coefficient of 0.27, I’d have it tatooed on my chest. Well, not literally, but you know what I mean.” “I like to tell my patients, ‘there are no small rides.Only small minds.” “Just by existing, you’re adding four feet of usable road space in New York City. I think…
Pseudo New Yorker
“OK, I should have said ‘I know a deep-sea short cut.’” “Unless he thinks we’re krill I think we’ll be OK.” “I don’t have an irrational fear of the great cetaceans. I have a rational fear of the great cetaceans.” “Well, for one thing, we’re both mammals. That should count for something! “I know they…
Pseudo New Yorker
“I don’t mean to rush you, but the C Train will be here in two minutes.” “Why I don’t I just start you off with a couple of bowls of our Port Authority vichyssoise? And maybe some sardines?” “As a matter of fact, I have heard all the jokes—thank you for asking. But I love…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “I can’t say I’m surprised, Smedley. I’ve always said that constrictors were good starters but bad finishers.” “Well, see if Accounting has use for someone who takes three weeks to process a termination.” “Old Harrellson called your bluff, eh, Smedley? Even a healthy anaconda can’t handle anything over two hundred and fifty…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Call me Ishmael, motherfucker!” “First dibs, my ass! This is my ocean, short stuff!” “I’m holding you personally responsible for global warming, beachboy!” “I just hope you didn’t eat all the cocoanuts.” “Don’t sweat it. The tide comes in real quick in these latitudes.” “If you didn’t keep building these damn things,…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “Yes, dear. I know Seth Curry couldn’t carry your jock. Now give it a rest.” “Of course he looks like a midget. Compared to you, everyone is a midget.” “No, I don’t think the first network honcho who programs ‘Giraffe Week’ will be sitting on a gold mine.” “Face it, honey. Knobby…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “O Gracious King, yada, yada, yada, please accept this humble gift, yada, yada, yada, we your loyal peasantry, yada, yada, yada, may your reign be blessed, yada, yada, yada, man, there’s a ton of this stuff, as we recall the many treasures of your bounty, yada, yada, yada, it doesn’t stop, does…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here “The only climbing walls I’m interested in are the climbing walls of the mind.” “Even a lack of obstacles is no obstacle to the truly motivated.” “Just think of it as an exercise in self-overcoming.” “I see things other men can’t, Harold. I see things other men can’t.” “It’s my own personal…