Legal humor here. “You taught Achilles, huh? What did you teach him, how to eat oats?” “You don’t get it. It’s supposed to be paradoxical.” “I guess they didn’t tell you. We’ll be climbing over a razor blade. A very large razor blade.” “It’s called mollusk power, homeboy.” “Nymphs? Oh, Hell yes. I get a…
Bob Woodward, attempting to talk sense for five minutes, almost makes it
Poor Bob Woodward! He tries! He really does! Here’s what he told “Morning Joe” on Monday morning: “Let’s call it what it is, they [the House Republicans] are trying to blackmail the president and say, ‘Look, we’re going to shut down the government or default on our debt unless you — we go back, rewind…
Republicans who want to break things
Back in the day, we talked a lot about smashing the state.* Well be careful what you wish for, eh? Because now the state actually is being smashed, but it’s the Republicans who are doing the smashing. How did this role reversal come about? Newt Gingrich is certainly one of the architects of disorder, a…
Mitty Novus
I have been laboring through an increasingly extensive survey of the works of James Thurber. A few “spin-offs” have already appeared, here and here. Today’s shtick is a bit longer. From my researches, I’ve learned that Thurber originally intended to include in his most famous story, “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty,” an episode that…
John Fedchock: “Epistrophy”
“A little checking informs me that I’ve run John Fedchock and the New York Big Band doing “Ruby, My Dear” twice. But I’ve never run them doing “Epistrophy.” So here it is. Posted by bonegasm New Trier Jazz Festival, New Trier High School, Winnetka, Il. SOLOISTS: Scott Wendholt – trumpet, Rich Perry – tenor sax,…
Robert Gates and Leon Panetta: They’ll none of them be missed
Last week, that music hall pair, Robert M. Gates and Leon E. Panetta, aka Mr. Inside and Mr. Outside, brought their good cop/bad cop routine to Dallas, Texas to answer questions about President Obama’s proposed incredibly small bombing of Syria. Gates, aka “The Thoughtful One,” said it was a bad idea while Panetta, aka “The…
Pseudo New Yorker
Legal humor here. “My ‘Morning Lotus’ kinda sucks, huh? Well, your ‘Morning Lotus’ really sucks!” “Yeah, dickhead! That was my mat!” “Listen, dude, if you don’t want guys looking at your ass, stop wearing those tight little shorts! Capiche?” “My feet smell like the motherfucking Hulk’s because I am the motherfucking Hulk, wise ass! Got…
Old Mother Pelosi, livin’ the cliché
“The cupboard is bare!” announces the distinguished minority leader, embarrassing all of us who at some time or other used to call ourselves “Democrats.” This whole sequestration thing is bad, says Rep. Nancy Pelosi, because there is, you know, in the whole federal budget nothing left to cut! Nothing! No more fat! It’s all muscle…
Legless Lizards? Oh Yeah! We Got Legless Lizards!
Fuck yeah we do. Four new varieties in California! Four! Used to be, people thought there was only one legless lizard in Sunny Cal—anniella pulchra*—but thanks to totally cool legless lizards dudes Theodore Papenfuss at the University of California at Berkeley’s Museum of Vertebrate Zoology and geologist James Parham from the California State University Fullerton,…
Jew Jokes? Oh Yeah! We Got Jew Jokes!
https://youtu.be/bO-e31SHUfw Fuck yeah we do, thanks to John “Funnyman” Whitbeck, 10th Congressional District Republican Committee chairman, appearing nitely at the Plantation Club in Confederateburg, Va. Johnnie’s latest gutbuster, shown above, involves the “head of the Jewish faith” presenting the new pope with the bill for the last supper. Funny, John, funny! You’re a funny man!…