Just last week I was taking a whack at Conan O’Brien, sneeringly referring to the poor guy as a “Harvard Hustler with the wit of Marty Allen.” Well, now I’ve got to defend Conan, against the likes of New Yorker writer Nancy Franklin, who asserts that “he’ll soon be Fantastic Mr. Fox, his blend of sophisticated sophomoricism, grossness, and inventiveness fitting right in with that network.” (And if you read the New Yorker much, you’ll know that saying someone “fits right in” with Fox is not a compliment with the spawn of Shawn.) Nancy is particularly ticked at Conan for “a nasty joke about Madonna’s private parts, which, if nothing else, reminded viewers that there are no women among O’Brien’s writers.”
I hate to be fussy, but it seems that Madonna herself was not so fussy about her private parts, sharing them with the public on many occasions, for a substantial fee, of course. This may have been before Nancy was much cognizant of her surroundings, but some twenty-odd years ago Madonna published a sprightly photo album with the very sprightly title of Sex. According to Wikipedia, “the extremely controversial book featured strong adult content and softcore pornographic photographs depicting simulations of sexual acts, which included sadomasochism and analingus.”
Sex, as I recall, retailed for some $85, which I was reluctant to pay. Persistent snooping at likely bookstores eventually paid off, and I found an unsealed copy which I was able to puruse for ten or fifteen minutes without being busted, and I can say that anyone who paid $85 probably felt they got their money’s worth.
I’m sure Ms. Franklin can find a copy of Sex somewhere on eBay, but even if not, she can rent a copy of Madonna’s reality flick Truth or Dare (pretty funny, I thought) during which Ms. Ciccone and several galpals chuckle over such activities as daddy fucking, which I doubt were raised by Mr. O’Brien. Sorry, Nancy, but defending the honor of Madonna’s crotch is goddamn lost cause.
Afterwords
Wikipedia discusses the history and content of Sex in amusing, not to say prurient, detail here.
