“I didn’t say what I thought: Morris is feasting on the carcass of journalism like a lamprey eel on a dead nurse shark.”
So writes former Fox dude and now author Chris Stirewalt in Politico, What I Learned About Media Rage After Getting Fired From Fox, an excerpt, probably, from his new book, Broken News: Why the Media Rage Machine Divides America and How to Fight Back, describing his first, sweaty palms encounter with Fox News bossman and right-wing terror Roger Ailes, when asked by Ailes why his predictions for Republican gains in the 2010 congressional election weren’t as rosy as those of toe-sucking Democratic turncoat Dick Morris.
Well, as a political analyst Chris ain’t too shabby, knowing for example, as I did not, that the record for congressional swings is held by the Democrats, dating back to the 1874 win, when they picked up 94 (out of 293!) seats, but when it comes to the habits of sea lampreys and parasites in general, he’s not so hot. See, Chris, lampreys are blood-sucking parasites, not scavengers. You can’t suck the blood of a corpse—not even if you’re Dracula (I think).
I confess I found Chris’s rap a bit wordy, particularly since he’s supposed to be a numbers guy, so, once I stumbled across his ichthyological bellyflop, I stopped reading. Tell me how things are shaping up for 2022 and I’ll listen, Chris. Just leave the lampreys out of it.
