I don’t actively search out articles on Jon Hamm’s penis. They just come to me. And when they do, the banal and unsavory euphemism “junk” invariably appears. Even Andrew Sullivan, who presumably is all—or at least largely—about the cock and balls—uses this tedious cliché. The emotions aroused in us by the contemplation of the culmination of the uro-genital tract are both complex and multifarious, but can’t we do better than making resort to this hasty vulgarity that combines bad taste and neurosis in equal measures? “Genitals,” like “vagina,” is a bit cumbersome, weighed down with three syllables instead of one or two, but it gets the job done. “Scrotum” isn’t used much, but it’s there if you want it, along with “testicles,” or “genitalia,” or even “male pudenda” (pretty lame, unless you’re trying to be funny). And there’s plenty of honest slang—like “balls” or “nuts”—if you want to go that way. So let’s stop saying “junk.” Grow up, America!
