Because you’re totally gay?

Okay, that is totally unfair not only to Seth Stevenson, who, so it appears, is not even gay at all, but also to gays, who are, most of the time, no worse than the rest of us, but when Seth loudly proclaims, over at Slate, “Why do we love Lady Mary, the Dowager Countess, and Mr. Bates the valet?,” it’s impossible not to waxy just a wee bit bitchy.

The subject is Downton Abbey, a virtual remake of Upstairs, Downstairs, Brideshead Revisited, and a million other bullshit BBC series, featuring “bright green lawns, fresh-cut flowers, polished dinnerware, and sparkling chandeliers”—basically, Martha Stewart without all the Martha Stewart, and servants to do the work instead of you. Put down the glue-gun, sister, and give that bell-pull a yank!

Seth is capable of some self-knowledge and self-restraint, remarking that the show sometimes reminds him of Three’s Company (not a compliment), but otherwise the piece is a non-stop rave for the sort of upper-class oatmeal that the BBC has been grinding out by the ton for the past century. Can’t we just stop eating?

Afterwords
Next to Seth’s story there’s a link to an “advertorial” presented by an outfit called “How Life Works,” which I should probably check up on, because how life works is totally a mystery to me, offering tips on “How to Exercise Your Brain and Make it Strong.” Maybe Seth should click on that.