“I share my colleague Marc Thiessen’s horror at the dreadful display of foreign policy foolishness at the Republican debate last night,” exclaims Jennifer, who clearly needs to bathe her fevered temples in eau de cologne. The horror’s so intense that Jennifer is actually arguing that it’s time for yet another candidate to step forth. Apparently, there’s someone “better” than Rick Petty waiting in the wings.
“No, it’s not too late,” babbles Jennie. “For sake of argument, suppose Jeb Bush or New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie got dragged into the race. Does anyone doubt that either one of them could raise money, quickly rise in the polls, make a splash at debates and win one of the critical early primaries? Or, if you don’t like those choices, maybe another governor (e.g., Ohio Gov. John Kasich, Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell). Perhaps one of the candidates who tested the waters and declined to run could have a change of heart, if he or she were ‘drafted’ in some fashion.”
Another governor, Jennie? “Dragged” into the race? Is that how you win a presidential nomination? Or maybe one of the would-be candidates who already announced they wouldn’t run? Are you guys that afraid of Mitt and Rick?
Well, maybe they are. As I’ve argued, so often I’m almost sick of it, it’s Obama who’s afraid to lose in Afghanistan. Mitt and Rick can walk away. Hey, it’s not their war! Besides, they’re Republicans! Everyone knows Republicans aren’t sissies! Especially Rick, who hangs innocent men for breakfast!
Poor Jennie, bright as a penny, dreams for a real man, a man like, you know, Ronald Reagan—you know, the guy who withdrew the Marines from Lebanon when 240 of them died in a suicide terrorist attack, the guy who sold arms to terrorists to obtain release of hostages (and lied his ass off about it), who wanted to abolish nuclear weapons, who ended the whole damn Cold War, which was the Republican Party’s whole damn reason for existence! That Ronald Reagan, Jennie? I’m sorry, girlfriend, but you’re a whole lot better off with a president you can intimidate.
Afterwords
If you’re in the market for schadenfreude, check out both of Jennie’s entries, as well as Mark’s. Damn that Rick and damn that Mitt. They want to protect America’s brave men and women by bringing them home! What kind of crazy thinking is that?
