In a recent piece appearing in Slate, Anne warns us that Iran is “a quasi-totalitarian state that since 1979 has been led by brutal, volatile men with no respect for the rule of law,” a state that cannot be allowed to have nuclear weapons. These “brutal, volatile men,” Anne tells us, are a regime that “is a ‘domestic’ problem for many Iranians, and it’s a major problem for Iran’s neighbors and the rest of the world.”
Is Iran really so awful, Anne? Have they ever invaded anyone? They have been invaded themselves, by Saddam Hussein, who used chemical weapons on them, with our assistance, which sounds rather “brutal,” if not “volatile.” The U.S. once shot down an Iranian airliner, killing everyone on board, which sounds both brutal and volatile. And if financing terrorists is bad, how come we’re doing it? Oh, that’s right, we’re not financing terrorists, we’re financing rebels! Big fucking difference!
As far as the nuclear stuff goes, we have dealt successfully with the overtly totalitarian regime of North Korea, which possesses nuclear weapons but has done nothing with them except rattle them clumsily, frightening no one but Charles Krauthammer. There is also Pakistan, which has nuclear weapons, and might be described by an unfriendly critic as being a “quasi-totalitarian state,” led by “brutal, volatile men with no respect for the rule of law,” and yet we are somehow an ally, of some sort, of that dubious nation. In earlier days, we managed to get along with the Soviet Union and Communist China, two massively totalitarian states, the USSR, of course, armed to the teeth with thousands of nuclear weapons. Today, both Russia and China could be called “quasi-totalitarian,” and both have nuclear arsenals far beyond the wildest dreams of the wildest Iranian fanatic, and yet we lose little sleep over them.
Iran is not a “major problem” for its neighbors, much less the rest of the world. Anne is pretending that it is for, as I say, synergy, which I’m defining as “invitations to neo-con parties.” Anne would like the U.S. to play a more active role in Eastern Europe than, frankly, the U.S. needs to play. For the first time in about a hundred years—maybe I should make that three hundred—things are back to “normal” in Eastern Europe—a far better normal, in fact, than that area has ever known. Poland is no longer a part of anyone’s empire. Neither Germany nor Russia, least of all poor, forgotten Austria, have the least appetite for expansion. There is no reason for the U.S. to be Poland’s “big brother.” Anne. like the neo-cons, wants to maintain the global reach that was once necessary for the U.S. in the struggle against communism when the need for that reach no longer exists. And so she’s looking for allies—“I’ll exaggerate your bogyman if you’ll exaggerate mine.”
