Again, NTNY

New Yorker-approved humor here.

“I’m sorry, Brad, but referring to me as ‘the man with the ‘stache’ in front of clients does not fall into the category of acceptable office banter.”

“No, I’ve never seen ‘The Office.’ Is that that thing that you and Harold are always giggling about? It probably is.”

“Well, you may not like the smell of Bay Rum, but the ladies do. And how.”

“No, the health of my moustache is not coextensive with the health of MultiCorp, but the two are heavily correlated. Why is that so hard for you to accept?”

“I don’t have an ego, I have a personality. There’s a difference.”

“The person who wrote ‘Vanity of Vanities, all is Vanity’ on my moustache cup. That was you, wasn’t it?”

“No, I’m not the poster boy of Accounts Receivable. But I do have a pulse.”

“It doesn’t define me. It empowers me. And I’m not sure you can handle that.”

“Okay, get a tattoo if you feel that will make us ‘even.’ But I better not see it during working hours.”

“I don’t think it makes me look dangerous, but I do feel it makes me look resourceful. And I like that.”