Legal humor here. All cartoons here. and here
“I’d like to order either an Uzi or about 60 pounds of salmon steaks.”
“Usually he only shows up to watch the Mickey Mouse Club, but lately he’s been coming a lot earlier.”
“They can’t read minds, can they? Because I think he’s reading my mind.”
“Hey, if the Mets get above .500, I’ll buy you two steaks.”
“Yeah, but every time I try to leave the room he starts with the tail. That’s supposed to mean they’re pissed.”
“You know that armored car you guys got? Well, bring it, because you’re going to need it.”
“Helen, you can’t leave me and the cat. That’s not how it works.”
“I told you Mona was going to get it. The shocker to me was Spencer’s hair! I mean, where are they going with that?”
“Yeah, definitely not good. I had a dream last night that I found a life-sized doll of myself stuffed with catnip. Scared the shit out of me.”
“I don’t care if they’re number three! I’m not dropping a nickel on a team called the Ducks!”
