Legal humor here.
“Well, I lied, okay? The sound of your voice doesn’t make me wet. I was trying to be polite and it came out very, very wrong.”
“Bryan’s ‘Cross of Gold’ and Burke’s ‘Thoughts on the Cause of the Present Discontents’, those are my choices?”
“My saying ‘everything’s better between the sheets’ was a witticism, not an invitation.”
“Jerry, the lectern may be working for you, but it isn’t working for me.”
“Yes, I saw that movie too. But that was a movie. And I’m not a whore.”
“I know I said I wanted to do it with Tom Brokow when I was a little girl, but that was a long time ago.”
“It does give you gravitas. But it’s giving me a headache.”
“Would it help if I knew you weren’t wearing any underwear? No.”
“Obviously, I should have put my foot down when you started with the whole pebbles in the mouth thing. But since I didn’t, I’ll have to do it now.”
“That was a great Jon Stewart, Jerry. Now shut up and fuck me.”
