Legal humor here
“The rain does fall on the just and the unjust alike. For the immaculately coifed, things are a little different.”
“Hey, hey, Mr. Skeptical Environmentalist! Wet enough for you?”
“Okay, ‘It always rains on the unloved’ is a saying. You know who said it? Charlie Brown. Do you want your psyche to be ruled by a fucking cartoon?”
“Sure I’ll share the May flowers. If you’ll stop whining about it this instant.”
“Okay, wrong spell entirely. Page 217 has the cure for baldness.”
“It seems to be related to winking at blondes. I guess you can figure that one out for yourself.”
“‘Why does it rain the hardest on those who deserve the sun?’ Yeah, that’s a real puzzler, isn’t it, George?”
“Well, if it doesn’t stop in the next ten minutes I really think you need to go out and lie next to the rosebushes. They could use a good soaking.”
“Apparently, when I said that sometime a man should have to sleep on the wet spot, God was listening.”
“Perhaps telling Helen Thomas that both her voice and manner were colder than a witch’s tit was a witticism better left unsaid. Of course, that’s only a woman’s perspective.”
