I recently made fun of the Republican presidential primary campaign tradition that I like to call “the freak o’ the week.” Well, Democrats can do that too, and right now we have two freaks, Bernie “Wild Man” Sanders and Joe “Gawd Help Us” Biden. Both are little more than surrogate candidates for the “real” “I’m not Hillary” candidate, Elizabeth “Run, Lizzie, Run” Warren, who is too lazy/smart/whatever to run.
Well, Bernie is neither smart nor lazy, and he’s having the time of his life, running his mouth on the evils of international capitalism, said international capitalism having lifted billions of people out of abject poverty, whereas Bernie has only lifted one person out of abject, albeit self-imposed, poverty, himself. Bernie’s rappin’ like Naomi Klein in a fright wig, mingling her “hate the Swoosh” line with current fears of unchecked immigration. “Why can’t we go back to the days when everyone stayed in their own country and everyone was rich–or at least we were?”
Biden, though he doesn’t look as ridiculous as Bernie, is even more absurd as a Hillary replacement. This is a guy who can play “drunk uncle” sober, and surely would if he ran. Biden is the total opposite of the paleo-liberal crows clamoring after Sanders, who does, after all, offer a consistent, and consistently wrong ideology, championing an expanded role for government in practically every aspect of society you can name, pandering shamelessly to public sector unions–“government jobs for everyone!”–and exploiting the left’s deep hatred of today’s high-end capitalism, which makes lefties feel small (because they are).
Meanwhile, Hillry’s left with little to do except count her Wall Street money and hope to God she didn’t say anything totally stupid on any of her emails.
