Legal humor here
“Because without proper maintenance you can kiss that extended warranty coverage goodbye, douchebag.”
“Where I come from, your toaster says as much about you as your car, if not more.”
“I’m the kind of guy who likes to see what he looks like in the morning.”
“It is so clean I could eat off it, and there’s a reason for that.”
“Because I’m a magna in parva kind of guy, that’s why.”
“Because a bagel should taste like a bagel and not a goddamn pop tart, that’s why! Got any more dumb ass questions?”
“Just getting rid of a few crumbs, that’s all. I like to do that now and again. Yeah, every once in a while I see a crumb that needs taking out and bam! That crumb is gone, you get me?”
“There are those who follow the common herd, Fred, and there are those who walk alone. I choose to walk alone.”
“This baby’s pre-Code, that’s why. The EPA can have it when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.”
“You’ve probably never even tasted clean toast, Fred. Trust me. It can come as a revelation.”
