Legal humor here
“Yes, dear. I know Seth Curry couldn’t carry your jock. Now give it a rest.”
“Of course he looks like a midget. Compared to you, everyone is a midget.”
“No, I don’t think the first network honcho who programs ‘Giraffe Week’ will be sitting on a gold mine.”
“Face it, honey. Knobby knees don’t cut in New York or LA.”
“Do I miss the veldt? I guess you mean do I miss stepping in rhino shit five times a day, and the answer is no.”
“I’m sure Sofia Vergara would kill to have your eyelashes. But I don’t think Zac Efron wants to taste your urine. I could be wrong.”
“What do you expect from people who think you can cross a camel with a leopard and get a giraffe?
“No, I don’t think that if those things were vertical it would be you up there on the screen and Ryan Seacrest here on the couch. Ryan Seacrest has a rare esprit and a gamin’s charm that defies the mundane.”
“Stop saying ‘I can shit higher than that’. They’re humans!”
“Okay. ‘Sadder than a human who just got kicked in the head by a giraffe’ is a lot funnier than ‘sadder than a giraffe with a sore throat’. And, yes, you should have sent it to Letterman.”
