I did not write a post last week entitled “100 Reasons Why I Won’t Be Watching The Grammys Next Week”, but I could have—anything from “I have a life” to “I’m 72”. However, if I had written such a post, it wouldn’t have occurred to me to say “I won’t have to listen to Hillary Clinton.” But now it seems I’m in a position to write a post headed “101 Reasons Why I’m Glad I Missed The Grammys Last Week.” Because this year’s festivities evidently featured Hillary reading aloud, in her flat, Midwestern voice, from Michael Wolff’s “Fire and Fury”. [INSERT “I’m glad she wasn’t twerking” joke here]
Hillary, if you’re reading this, I have to say it: please go away. Please. I voted for your husband twice and I even voted for you, in a pity vote, because I (correctly) feared that Donald Trump was going to win and I wanted to swell your popular vote by one. So, if anything, you owe me.
I wanted to vote against you because you were a lousy secretary of state, Hillary. You were the prime mover behind our involvement in the catastrophic overthrow of Muammar Gaddafi, which not so incidentally cost you the presidency. If not for that, it’s quite likely that you would have won so easily the Republicans would be a little afraid of you. Instead, you’re little more than ambulatory political road kill.
You also seem to have a compulsion to get in shoving/pissing matches with Vladimir Putin. I agree he’s an authoritarian schmuck, but then sometimes so are you. You either don’t understand the First Amendment or, if you do, you don’t approve of it. You always seem to want to make everything better and it never bothers you that you never do.
I could say that people don’t like you, but, well, people don’t like me either. So let’s both skip the Grammys, for like forever.
