Ben Shapio has a curious piece up at the National Review, “The Two Theories of Trump’s Actions in the Ukraine Affair”, which I can only consider as an exercise in pre-emptive ass-covering.
Shapiro, of course, has a reputation of being one of the hottest young conservative talking heads around—he’s bright, articulate, and quite capable of taking apart just about any woke sophomore you can name. So why does he stumble through a couple of thousand words, as he does in NR, providing us with an extensive, though unsurprisingly selective, review of the evidence in L’affaire, hemming and hawing over whether Trump is utterly disgusting or just, you know, “foolish”?
According to Shapiro, it’s a case of two quid quo pro’s—the damnably damnable, aka the “Get Biden Theory”, and the acceptably damnable, aka the “Miasma of Corruption Theory”, reflecting Trump’s obsession with the “theory” that sources in Ukraine, rather than Russia, scored, and passed through to Wikileaks, the Democratic National Committee emails that helped sink Hillary in 2016. The second, which Shapiro implausibly decides is the more plausible, runs as follows:
It’s the story not of a quid pro quo to help Trump in 2020, but of a quid pro quo to target a miasma of Trump-perceived “corruption” that the president believes led to the Russian-collusion narrative that damaged his legitimacy. If it’s true, Trump was foolish, stubborn, and wrong — but did not commit an impeachable offense.
Really, Ben? A president can, at his sole discretion, withhold monies appropriated by Congress in order to force other nations to do his bidding, to corrupt their legal systems, finding “corruption” where there is none and subjecting innocent individuals to investigation and harassment and public humiliation, merely to assuage his personal vanity and, not so incidentally, free him from the charge that he’s beholden to Russia, that, in fact, he’s “Russia’s candidate”—something that just might be politically advantageous to him in a coming election?
Over and over again, Shapiro acknowledges Trump’s gross and unacceptable behavior. Regarding the “Get Biden” theory, he says
The timeline fits. Trump’s own statements suggest that he isn’t averse to asking foreign powers to target his political opponents, from his open call for Vladimir Putin to release Hillary Clinton’s emails to his public request that China investigate the Bidens. Trump has never committed a bad act upon which he didn’t double down.
Yes, Ben. It’s almost like he’s, you know, confessing to his crimes!
Because Trump always talks in a disgusting, vicious manner, even when he isn’t confessing to criminal, impeachable acts, that somehow “proves” to Ben that when he does admit to committing criminal, impeachable acts it somehow doesn’t count. “He’s just being Donald.” Yeah. Just like Tony Soprano was just being Tony Soprano.
So why does Ben write so much pointless drivel? Because he’s part of a “party” that wants Tony Soprano as its president, as its maximum leader. And so, no matter how much Ben damns Trump—“Oh, I know how bad he is. Don’t I know!—he can’t quit him. He’s still Donnie’s bitch.
Poor Ben. He’s a smart boy, but he’s got no soul. At least, none to call his own.
Afterwords
Kudos, of a sort, are sort of due Mr. Shapiro, owing to his inability to utter, with a straight face, the magic words “no quid pro quo!” And, if poor Mr. Shapiro is subsequently found face down in a gutter, well, you’ll know why.
