UPDATE: Humiliated by Ann's rap, detailed below, Donald Trump is now saying he will fight for like forever to build the wall that Ann so desires, and, yeah, I know Donald Trump always keeps his promises. But somehow I don't think Ann will ever feel quite the same way about Donnie, aka Cap'n Disaster, ever again.
Absofuckinglutely hilarious: Ann Coulter’s world is shattered! “GUTLESS PRESIDENT IN WALL-LESS COUNTRY” shrieks/moans Annie:
If you were elected president after decades of politicians doing nothing about the millions of illegals pouring into our country every year, committing crimes, dealing drugs, driving drunk, molesting children and killing Americans like Kate Steinle, and your central campaign promise -- repeated every day -- was to build a wall, wouldn't you have spent the entirety of your transition period working on getting it done?
Wouldn't you have been building prototypes, developing relationships with key congressional allies and talking to military leaders about using the Seabees or the Army Corps of Engineers to build the wall?
Wouldn't you skip the inauguration and take the oath of office in San Diego so you could get started on supervising wall construction immediately after putting your hand on the Bible and being sworn in as the leader of the free world?
You would if you meant it.
Well, Donald Trump didn't do that.
Well, I hate to say it, but, you know something, Annie? God, you’re dumb. Donald Trump ran for president, not to be president, but to work his brand. He took the spiel that you are actually dumb enough to actually believe in and sold it to the people who are as dumb as you are—a process H. L. Mencken used to call “boob-bumping”. It was all a hustle, girlfriend, and, girlfriend, you’ve been hustled. Here’s Trump, from the first days of his administration, explaining to Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto how they’re going to sell the funding of this “beautiful wall,” which, as he endlessly repeated in the campaign, Mexico was going to pay for.
[Y]ou and I are both at a point now where we are both saying we are not to pay for the wall. From a political standpoint, that is what we will say. We cannot say that anymore because if you are going to say that Mexico is not going to pay for the wall, then I do not want to meet with you guys anymore because I cannot live with that. I am willing to say that we will work it out, but that means it will come out in the wash and that is okay. But you cannot say anymore that the United States is going to pay for the wall. I am just going to say that we are working it out. Believe it or not, this is the least important thing that we are talking about, but politically this might be the most important talk about.
Got that, sweetheart? It’s all about image, kind of like why you dye your hair. Everybody knows it’s fake but nobody cares. Do you think your fans would bust up in tears if they learned you were a Miss Clairol gal, or whatever it is you use? Well, okay, maybe they would, but, well, the point is, are you really as dumb as your fans?
Almost as dumb, and almost as entertaining, as the angst of Annie is the I guess “thoughtful” bigotry of the American Conservative’s Rod Dreher, who put me onto Whinin’ Annie’s whine. Dreher, unlike Annie, never swallowed Donnie’s jive, pointing out that “Trump drove away the most important and effective immigration skeptic in Washington, Jeff Sessions.” Yes, we all miss old Stars n’ Bars Jeff, don’t we? Rod calls Annie’s takedown “brutal” and also links to the Great Satan himself, Rush Limbaugh, who’s hoping against hope that Trump is only looking like he’s caving:
So I know this looks like “Read my lips: No new taxes” and caving on it. I know it does. I’m not here to defend it, either. Don’t misunderstand. I’m just telling you that it’s not unusual for Trump to do this. Now, on this issue it’s very alarming because this is the issue that got him elected. This is an issue that your supporters are saying, “Don’t tease us! Don’t play games on this. Stay straight.”
So Trump’s alienating Republicans in Congress by withdrawing troops from Syria and alienating his base by taking a dive on the “Wall”. Sweet!
Afterwords
Gotta give points, or props, or whatever, to Annie for her grasp of popular culture—popular culture for geezers, at least. Her headline riffs off a once-famous New York Post headline from the early eighties, “Headless Body in Topless Bar”. But Ann goes back much further than that. Five years ago, speaking again on immigration, she whaled away at the Bush family for supporting “amnesty”, to wit: “Even Shemp and Zeppo Bush are supporting amnesty for illegals.”
Okay, “Shemp”, Shemp Howard of the Three Stooges, died in 1955 but was known via re-runs well into the seventies—and probably beyond—but “Zeppo”?—that is to say, Zeppo Marx, the youngest, and least, of the Marx Brothers,1 who last appeared in film in 1933, and whose most memorable bit was to steal Maurice Chevalier’s passport in Monkey Business?2 Impressive, Ann, impressive!3
1. Well, except for Gummo, the second youngest, who left the act in 1918 to join the army and never appeared in the Brothers’ films.
2. The three “funny brothers” then take turns trying to get through customs as Maurice, each singing “If the Nightingales Could Sing Like You” (they’d sing much sweeter than they do). I found this very funny.
3. I wrote up Ann’s speech at the time because Politico reported her as saying “Zippo Bush” without suggesting that she got it wrong, suggesting to me that reporter Kevin Robillard misunderstood the reference. Kevin doesn’t seem to be with Politico any more, and perhaps that’s why.
