Pseudo-New Yorker

Legal humor here.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. She isn’t wearing any underwear. Like I could give a shit. Let’s get on with it.”

“Okay, Boopsie and Poopsie here, they want to get it on. So which one is which? That’s all I gotta know. Just tell me, okay, and then we’re home free.”

“Now, it seems that Francine and Edgar have written their own vows, with something about piggy-back rides for life. Edgar, I hope you added something about size 4 for life, you know what I’m saying? I mean, am I right, or am I right?”

“I’m guessing that’s an ‘I do,’ right, Francine?”

“Okay, I think we’ve got a ‘Ride him on a Friday, wed him on a Monday’ kind of thing going on here. I hope no one’s going to object.”

“She’s the bride, right? I mean, otherwise, this is not good.”

“Are we going to do the whole thing like this? Because, I tell you, no one is getting under my skirts.”

“Yeah, those glass slippers can pinch. Okay, Prince Charming, you can put her down.”

“Oh, you kids! This is getting almost too Episcopalian.”

“Jumpin’ like a virgin on her wedding day! You don’t see that too often.”